One thing you can’t do in life is choose your relatives, in particular your mother-in-law (MIL). And while many people have a great relationship with their MIL (me included), there are many who have not been so lucky. All grandparents want to be involved with the family’s newest member – but here are some MIL’s who well and truly crossed a line.
One woman took to Reddit to vent about her MIL’s behaviour during the birth of her son. Her MIL kept making comments about being in the delivery room. The soon-to-be mum, who was 16 at the time and very much a people pleaser, laughed it off but never actually said no. Until she reached 30 weeks when she put her foot down.
“I finally (after getting hyped up by my mom and bf) grew a spine and told her I just wasn’t comfortable with anyone other than my mom or bf,” she wrote in the post. “She was veryyyyy disappointed and made me feel so guilty bc it was her first grannndddbbaaabyyyy *eye roll* but I stuck to it and said no, sorry.”
When the mum-to-be was induced, her MIL was in the waiting room with the rest of the family. She kept popping in to “see how things were going” until she finally didn’t leave. When it was time to push, the woman’s own mother noticed the MIL “hiding in the bathroom watching through a crack in the door.”
“I sat up so quickly my epidural tube came out of my back and tried so hard to close my legs that were literally pushing a child out but I forgot my legs didn’t work at the moment,” she said. “I scream at my bf to get her out and he has no idea what I’m talking about bc we were having a boy and he thought I meant the baby lol.”
Finally her boyfriend confronted his mother who had been videoing the finer details of the event. “He took her phone, threw it on the couch in my delivery room and shoved her out the door,” she says. “She tried to come back in for her phone and two security guards escorted her off the premises.”
The MIL got her phone back the next day but not before the new mum had deleted all the highly intimate birth footage captured without permission.
Going through a C-section is one thing, but discovering that your mother-in-law changed the spelling of your newborn’s name while you’re in recovery is quite another. You wouldn’t think it possible, but one new mum found herself in this exact situation.
“I just discovered my husband spelled our son’s middle name as “Finlay” instead of “Finley” on all of his legal documentation,” she reported to Slate.
Apparently, her MIL “guilt-tripped” her son in to changing the spelling while she was recovering from the birth. “She tried to convince him to give our son a first name that I very much hated, saying that I would “get mad, but get over it”,” she said. “My husband thought changing his first name was too much but apparently gave in to spelling his middle name the way his mom wanted.”
The new mum is absolutely furious, and while she tries to work out how to deal with her MIL, one thing is for sure: “I will be legally changing my son’s name to the correct spelling.”
Another mother reported on Reddit, that while her MIL never really liked her, the pregnancy made things a little better. “She was very excited for her first grandchild and we finally had something she would talk to me about,” she said.
However, things went downhill when her MIL kept asking her son if she could be in the delivery room. “That was a firm no and I didn’t think about it again really until she stormed into the delivery room 4 days ago,” wrote the new mum.
The woman was in labour when her MIL appeared out of nowhere. “I’m an incredibly shy and anxious person and I could not bring myself to ask her to leave myself,” she said. “I just have no balls. I know this is terrible. I presumed my partner would ask her to leave. He didn’t.” The women eventually told her partner to ask his mother to leave and while absolutely furious, the MIL did as she was told.
“Fast forward to an hour later, the baby was not coming out no matter how hard I pushed and things had started to get panicky in the delivery room,” she said. “I ended up on my hands and knees in the least dignified position and then MIL came back into the room. I was fucking mortified. Partner had to get her to leave again.”
The situation ended up in theatre with a traumatic forceps delivery and still her MIL kept trying to come in. And has been visiting everyday after the birth. “I’m anxious and vulnerable and I don’t want her around,” she said. “She keeps telling my partner I’m mean and horrible keeping her away from the baby.”
The new mum also feels that her MIL’s behaviour contributed to the difficult birth. “One of the midwives said to me after the birth that the reason the labour went so badly was probably a lot to do with how stressful I was finding it having MIL in the room when I didn’t want her there,” she said. “And honestly I feel like that’s true.”
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